Games And Theories
by TellNearaToWrite
Summary: Sakura and Ino always have their own new ideas and sometimes Naruto just can't ignore an issue. Especially one involving his best friend.


_LOOK!!  
My first written-for-this-account story!!  
ENYOY!!_

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Games and Theories

Sakura and Ino had many theories. They'd made them growing up, and they still had many being formed. They ranged from simple childhood years (this flower is best beside this one and only this one . . . ), to complex pre-teen years (Sasuke-kun isn't going to want to see _any_ pink on his wedding day . . . ), to their cut-and-dry today (_I'm _going to get Sasuke's _second _kiss, not you, Ino-pig . . . ).

This time, when the pink haired girl came across the blonde haired girl, there were no explosive comments (my, Sakura, isn't your forehead looking _large _today . . . ) and there were no less-than-snappy comebacks (I--eah!--well--it doesn't look that big, does it?! It doesn't . . . ). There was a simple understanding between the two girls (hey, we need to talk . . . ).

They sat quietly for a long time (so, ummm . . . I never wanted to say this . . . ). The quiet talk led to quiet discussion (yeah, I think I get it . . . ) and then quiet argument (_no way_! Not possible . . . ) and then quiet chewing of the facts (it _has _to be it . . . ) and then quiet agreement (no way! How did we not see it before? That explains everything . . . ). So, as all good fangirls should, the two, with their agreed upon facts, decided to share their not-so-proven theory (Sasuke-kun had to be gay.).

Naruto, sitting in a beam sunlight on his bed as he lazed the day away at home, did not find this supposed TOP-SECRET secret rumour-thing to be anything remotely close to 'funny'. He'd heard from reliable sources that Sasuke had vocally announced to a group of people that he was gay. The blonde had heard about this and had quickly gone home and had quickly become unsettled by the idea.

Sasuke was his best friend. And he was gay. Sasuke was a guy. And he was gay. Sasuke was a pretty darn attractive male, according to the number of girls who flocked to him. And he was gay. Sasuke was great to bum a meal off of when you had no money. And he was gay. Sasuke was a decent rival. And he was gay. Sasuke wanted to 'restore his clan'. And he was gay. Sasuke was a great ninja. _And he was gay_! Gay!

Naruto couldn't shake the thought and found himself trying to find fault in the very reasoning behind the idea. Only, he really couldn't. He just couldn't, no matter how much he wanted to.

And Naruto cringed, because it occurred to him that most of his contact with the raven was physical. Not sexual, as he was only twelve and the mere thought of sex scared him witless, but physical nonetheless, as they sparred. And! And he was probably the only person Sasuke ever had contact with on a _daily basis_. They sparred _every single day_.

Naruto cringed again when he went to answer his door when someone knocked, as he _knew _who it was. The person stood on his doorstep, arms folded and eyes narrowed with extreme impatience. The blonde meekly followed his friend as they went to their usual training ground. When neither spoke, they just did what they always did--which was fight, of course.

"So, Sasuke . . . "

--punch, block, grunt which meant _what?!_--

"What's up?"

--falter, picking up speed, rapid kick--

"I'm serious!"

--growl of annoyance, block, spin away--

"Sasuke, what's going on with you? Shit!"

--hand signs, intake of breath, more hand signs--

"Shadow clone--"

--exhale flames, smirk in satisfaction, shadow clones running in panicked circles on fire before _poofing_ away--

"I'm sorry I found out you're gay, okay?!"

--freezing, smirk disappearing, utter confusion--

"I mean it! I'm sorry!"

" . . . what?"

"Oh . . . that wasn't good." The blonde began backing away.

--eyes narrowing, charging forward, preparing to tackle and pin--

Naruto panicked. Sasuke couldn't pin him down! Who knew what he'd do! The blonde hastily ducked down. To his complete amazement, his not-even-half-baked idea worked. He sent Sasuke sailing over his shoulder. He scrambled over to the winded raven and jumped on top of him, pinning _him_ down instead.

"You're gay," the blonde insisted, making sure he had Sasuke's wrist firmly pinned over his head. "And that's okay."

The raven, looking both flushed and flustered, ceased his attempts to squirm away. "What are you talking about?!"

"You are gay," Naruto said slowly and clearly. "But I'm alright with that. You don't need to worry about it." Inside, he really wasn't so sure about his words. Yes, Sasuke was his friend. And someone had told him you were supposed to be supportive if your friend made a decision like Sasuke had. _But he was gay! _

"What the fuck?!" Sasuke _looked_ royally pissed off, if his words hadn't been a big enough tip off.

"It's okay! Really!"

"What the fuck are you on?!"

Naruto felt mildly offended. It wasn't about the decidedly grown up language Sasuke used, despite the fact that he had yet to break through into his teens. It was because the raven was trying to act like he was totally in the dark on the matter. Honestly, if he didn't want anyone to know, he should never have said anything about being gay.

"Did you not want me to know?" the blonde asked slowly. "'Cause, you know, I already said I was sorry for finding out."

"_What the hell_! I'm not gay!" the other boy spat vehemently.

"Don't worry! I won't tell anyone." Not that everyone didn't _already _know. Sasuke being gay was the talk of the village. But _he _didn't need to know that. Yet.

"But I'm not--"

"Like I said; _don't worry_. I _know _you're gay. And it actually makes sense, I guess." Naruto nodded his head.

It was Sasuke's turn to look offended. Except, well, he looked offended and struck dumb all at once. " . . . it does?"

"Well, yeah. It does. I mean, you've never had a crush on any _girl _before, not even Sakura-chan. And you, like, _don't_ like girls. At all. Isn't that enough?"

"No. _Hell_ no. Get off of me."

The blonde only acquiesced because of the harsh glare the raven gave him. Sasuke sat up as the blonde backed away, his glare still intact. He got to his feet, still watching the blonde, and crossed his arms over his chest. "Trust me; you are gay and I won't tell anyone," Naruto tried to assure him.

"Dobe . . . " the raven growled. "You've never had a crush on a girl before, and you don't _like_ girls either. So if that makes _me _gay, _you're _gay with me."

"No, no, _no_! I have a crush on Sakura-chan! And I _do _like girls!" the blonde shrieked.

"Pfft," Sasuke snorted. "Sakura? Don't even try passing that off as a crush. And you run from the girls _with _me; _trust me_, you don't _like_ girls. You're gay too."

"What about Sakura?!" Naruto shrieked, his voice jumping up an octave. As much as talking about it embarrassed him, he wanted to know Sasuke's thoughts on their teammate. Talking about Sasuke's thoughts (I think I want to _stab_ you now) and his wants (I want to _kill _you, you moron) usually ended with Naruto being humiliated publicly or hurt privately, as a rule of thumb.

"Sakura is . . . " the raven appeared to be at a loss for words for a moment. He recovered with a shake of his head. "You're _smitten _with her. You don't _like_ her, really. You decided subconsciously that you wanted her when we were all younger, probably as part of your inherent . . . _rivalry_ with me. She is nearly _masculine_ around you, constantly abusing you, not only verbally but _physically_, and she becomes this girly _mess_ around _me_," he paused to sneer and take a breath. "_That's_ why you _insist_ that you _like_ her. You want someone who worships the ground you walk on."

"What--"

"To simplify that. Your 'crush' is an obsession. Sakura acts like a man around you, which I find funny, with what we happen to be talking about. Finally, you want someone to worship you like she worships me. So . . . you are gay if I am gay. Got it?"

"No! I'm not gay!"

"Then I'm not either."

"But you _are_! You are, you are, you are!"

The two bickered back and forth as they began to head home. It was obvious to them that they wouldn't be doing anything more than _verbal _sparring for the rest of the day, so why _not _go home?

As they reentered the inhabited section of the village, the two boys had no clue that the cause of their argument had started with the theory of two girls, before it had escalated to all concerned members of society. So, they simply ceased bickering when they crossed paths with said two girls, fearing, at least on one persons part, that they'd be overheard.

"Sasuke-kun!" Ino cried happily, draping herself over the raven. "You need to tell us something."

"What?" the boy growled warily, not shrugging the girl off in a stubborn attempt to prove to the blonde dobe he was glaring at that he wasn't gay.

Naruto, on the other hand, feared for the worst. The two girls _had _to be confronting Sasuke on the rumour that they'd heard, and that meant that Sasuke would _assume_ that _he _had been spreading rumours and not someone else. Which, in other words, meant that he would wind up in pain and Sasuke would wind up incredibly angry--at him.

"Who's the better kisser? Me or _her_?"

Sakura and Ino had spread the idea that Sasuke was gay the day before on a whim. Today, though, was a new day, and a new day called for the testing of a new theory (I can kiss better than you, Ino-pig . . . ). Despite the fact that they now believed Sasuke to be gay, he was still the hottest guy around, and therefore still good to want/kiss. There was also the fact that both girls, secretly, harbored the idea that they could 'turn him back'--i.e. make him straight. So, they were willing to try out kissing a very gay boy.

"How the hell should _I _know?" Sasuke asked, grumpily shaking Ino off his back.

"Well, we were going to both kiss you, and then you could tell us who you liked more," Ino supplied, both hopeful and helpful.

"No. I'm not kissing--" Sasuke realized at the last moment that he really _did _sound gay--why else would he turn down _two_ somewhat pretty girls if they both _clearly _wanted him. He was happy enough to want to kiss Naruto when the blonde boy interrupted him midsentence, only when he _thought_ that, though, he decided against it. He wasn't gay, remember? Kissing his male friend would destroy the idea that he wasn't.

"That's it! That's how we'll figure it out!" the blonde exclaimed. "We'll have some people kiss you, and you can tell us who you liked kissing the most--only . . . only, we'll blindfold you, so you don't just pick a girl instead of a guy, 'cause you don't want to admit to being gay!"

Sasuke tackled the blonde as soon as the word 'gay' left his mouth and hauled back to begin seriously pummeling him. He sprang away just as quickly as he'd attacked when the other boy opened his mouth and shrieked 'rape!'

Naruto scrambled to his feet and dusted himself off. He glanced in Sasuke's direction and winced at the shock and hurt in his eyes. Hurt! Who knew the stupid teme could be upset by something like that?

"Sasuke," the blonde began guiltily. "Sasuke, I'm sorry! I don't know why I said that! I'm sorry!"

"Shut up, you moron! Are you suggesting a kissing game with Sasuke-kun?" Ino asked excitedly.

" . . . yeah?" the blonde answered meekly.

"That's a _great_ idea!"

"Wait, Ino-pig," Sakura broke in, ending her silence. "Sasuke-kun? Do you--do you _want _to play?"

Sasuke snorted, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms. "Whatever." Silently, he was hoping to prove Naruto wrong. He didn't want Naruto to think he was gay, because he would always act weird around him if he did.

Naruto gaped at the raven. 'Whatever' was a direct translation to 'okay' in Uchiha-speak. Sasuke _wanted_ to play this kissing game!

"How would it work?" Sasuke asked cautiously.

Sakura and Ino giggled, and an hour later, Sasuke found himself blindfolded and tied tightly to a chair. He was tied a.) to prevent him from removing his blindfold at any time and b.) to prevent injury to anyone who kissed him, as most people believed he'd try to kill anyone whose lips got too close to his person.

"Alright," Naruto began, letting a hand rest on the back of Sasuke's chair. He leaned closer, speaking directly into the raven's ear. "So, we have six volunteers, okay? Three girls, three guys. It's gonna be Sakura, Ino, and Hinata, and then Kiba, Shikamaru, and Neji, 'kay?"

Sasuke, who was regretting agreeing to this, grumbled something in the affirmative. Naruto patted his shoulder in a sort of 'be brave' kind of way before walking to the other side of the room, where the six kissers were assembled. And so, the game began.

The first person was all soft, vanilla flavoured lips and hands that tried to pull at his hair. His first impulse was to shove the person away, but he couldn't move. He decided to play along--to a degree. He didn't reciprocate the kiss in any way, shape, or form. Eventually, the person (he thought it was Ino) just gave up. He smothered a satisfied smirk.

"Okay . . . that was number one," said Naruto's voice. "Here's number two."

Number two's lack of enthusiasm tipped Sasuke off. The raven received nothing more than a simple peck on the lips and knew immediately that it had been Shikamaru.

"Number three," Naruto intoned.

Number three was preceded by the faint scent of flowers--roses, like the perfume his mother used to wear. He found that to be too creepy for words, especially when coupled with the gentle kiss he received. He was even too creeped out to think about _not_ kissing back. The lips retreated not so soon afterward and he heaved a sigh of relief. That was almost like kissing his own _mother_! This 'game' was going to leave him mentally scarred, he just knew it.

"Four," came Naruto's voice again.

The fourth attacked him with nips and bites, trying to coerce him into participating with way too much force. He tried to turn his head away, uncomfortable with this person's _ferocity_, but found he couldn't turn away far enough. Luckily for him, there was a shuffling of feet and the person was yanked away with a shout of 'are you out of your mind?! You don't kiss someone like that! Especially not _him_!' Kisser four's response went unheard as the room erupted in scathing chatter and shouts. Finally, Naruto's voice broke through the clamor.

"Everyone, shut up! We've got two more, and I know Sasuke is sick of this. So let's get a move on it! Number five."

Sasuke heard more feet shuffling and then the quiet murmur of voices. These were followed by an indignant yelp as someone was shoved into his lap. The raven couldn't help himself--he let out a startled cry as kisser five--the shoved person--accidentally groped him. It had to have been accidental because the hand quickly retreated from between his legs, without any further groping.

He sat awkwardly with his groper straddling his lap. That was a first, because everyone else had just sort of leaned over to kiss him. Number five hesitantly brought their lips to his. They were a little chapped, but they moved nicely against his--they didn't seem to want him to participate immediately, they didn't kiss too lightly, they didn't have a scent that reminded him of someone else, and they didn't overwhelm him with ferocity.

Slowly, he let his lips move against this mystery persons. They nibbled lightly on his lower lip, seeking a way to deepen the kiss, and he opened his mouth slightly, a blush valiantly appearing on his cheeks at the appreciative murmur someone uttered on the other side of the room. He'd never felt them before, but as this person carefully explored his mouth, he was sure he felt those stomach butterflies people talked about. All too soon, the lips and the tongue retreated, and the person got up, clearing their throat, leaving him to gasp for breath. And the damned blush was _still_ there, only now everyone could see it.

"Ummm . . . number six," Naruto said quietly.

Number six had obviously seen that he liked the previous kiss, and intended to imitate it. Sasuke, however, wanted no part in their cheep copy. He closed his mouth firmly, teeth locked together. He wanted to savor the previous persons taste. Honestly, he was happy when number six finally gave up and left him alone.

Almost immediately, he felt hands fumbling at his blindfold. Soon after he could see, he could also move his hands, but Naruto motioned for him to stay seated.

"So . . . ummm . . . what'd you think?" the blonde asked nervously.

"I hated most of that," the raven answered truthfully.

"I . . . figured that much." Naruto shrugged awkwardly. "So . . . what'd you think about all the individual kissy people?"

"The first one--"

"Ino."

"--wanted too much too soon. The second was Shikamaru." Sasuke didn't go into any further detail, as there really wasn't much else to tell. "The third was . . . wrong."

"That was Hinata," Naruto said in surprise. "What was wrong with her?"

Sasuke blinked at the milky eyed girl. "There was nothing wrong with you yourself. And you kissed nicely, but--" the raven felt slightly awkward saying this "--you smell like my mother used to."

"Oh," was Naruto's small, all-meaningful sound of surprise.

"Number four," Sasuke turned a heated glare on Kiba--that had to have been Kiba, "_bit_ me. Hard."

"Anything else?"

"Six was unoriginal."

"That was Sakura," Naruto admitted. " . . . what about five?"

Sasuke gaped in realization at the person who'd gone uncalled. His favourite kiss had been from none other than Hyuuga Neji? Impossible! "You . . . "

The older boy shook his head minutely and pointed across the room at a fidgeting blonde. "I made him kiss you in my place," Neji said calmly. "You're welcome."

Sasuke's face turned a hundred different shades of pink and red in what seemed like only moments--he was either incredibly embarrassed (it had been Naruto, after all!) or incredibly pissed off (it had sill been Naruto!). Maybe he was even both. This was Sasuke, after all. "Naruto?!"

The blonde was out the door in seconds. Sasuke followed him soon after, leaving the room in shocked silence. Eventually, though, life had to continue.

Sakura and Ino still had theories to make. They looked across the room at one another after the two boys tore out of it (hey, we need to talk . . . ). They stared, and then quietly began speaking (so, ummm . . . ). Then came quiet discussion (yup, that's right. We _both_ saw it . . . ) and then quiet fact chewing (we _know_ Sasuke is gay . . . ). Finally, they turned to the people who hadn't yet gone and announced their newest, not-so-proven theory (Naruto and Sasuke-kun will be gay together.).

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_Tehehe . . .  
That was fun. So, I'm back. For now. Can't wait for school to start. Then I can type all the time in Study Hall. And then I can actually post stuff.  
Review? Please? I'd say I'd love you forever . . . but I think that would scare people away . . ._


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